Chapter 44 In the Halls of Remembrance CHARLOTTE The scene shifted abruptly .
One moment I was on a plane , anticipating my destination , and the next , I found myself standing in the old apartment 1 had lived in with my parents as a child .
My mouth felt dry , and a metallic taste lingered on my tongue , preluding an overwhelming sense of dread , This was a different dream a very unfamiliar one .
I had been plagued with dreams about Rogerio and me a few weeks before our divorce and a few weeks after we had concluded the separation , so I knew this had nothing to do with him .
I looked around for signs of any other person , but it was eerily silent .
The walls were painted pale pink and adorned with a rainbow on one side .
I searched my mind for hints regarding the direction of this entire experience .
but for the first time in a very long time , my mind was silent .
I was used to thoughts bouncing all over the place as I struggled to keep them in check , so I wasnt sure how to respond to a quiet mind .
The feeling of trepidation felt stronger with each second that rolled by and I tried to convince myself to wake up , but that seemed futile .
I exhaled slowly and looked around the room I was standing in a second time and realized what it was my bedroom .
The same one I lived in as I grew from a baby to a teenager, but this time , the settings were stuck in a particular memory .
I struggled to remember what it was , hoping it would give some insight about where this entire thing was headed , but that didnt work out as planned .
I gave up on trying to do anything else for a moment and focused on what I was looking at .
Toys were strewn all over the place , which reminded me of the hotel room , which had been a worrisome sight when I woke up earlier in the day .
I chuckled at the thought of patterns repeating themselves .
As a child , I had tossed toys east , west , north , and south ; if I could find an extra cardinal point , a toy was tossed in that direction , but at the end of the day , I also picked them up and put everything back in place .
My eyes roamed around the room and settled on the tea set that lay on the table .
Some of my favorite dolls were positioned on small seats around it , leaving one seat empty .
I figured that was the one Id sit in , but where was I ? I studied the room to see if it would trigger any more memories or if Id be able to remember where this was leading , but a few seconds later ; the scene changed , and I was standing in the kitchen watching my mom make breakfast .
Seeing her left me feeling different emotions at the same time because I didnt think I remembered what she looked like anymore .
I carried pictures of them everywhere with me as a child but when I moved to Milan , I lost some of my property and all I had were memories that soon faded over time .
Being able to conjure a memory of her in this dream was something I couldnt have envisioned myself doing .
I tried to say something to her but the words got stuck in my throat as a lone tear slid down my face .
I reminded myself that this wasnt reality and we couldnt have all the conversations I missed out on as a child .
I just watched in silence as she cooked .
Moments later , my dad walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her .
My heart raced against my chest .
For the first time in a long while , I saw them together again .
They werent a figment of my imagination , fading away 21:23 Dancing into the Heart of Mr 28.5 % Chapter 44 with the years ; they were both present , and it felt like a respite from all the self loathing I had endured for forgetting what they looked like .
He helped her with the cooking and they moved to the dining area , where they set down the dishes at the table .
She yelled out my name and I came running down the stairs right into my fathers arms .
He lifted me off the ground and spun me in the air .
I watched myself giggle in delight and smiled wistfully .
I was a happy child in a happy home but that was going to change shortly .
I wasnt sure about the direction this dream was going to take but I wasnt sure I wanted to relive that experience .
It was one thing to be reminded about the life you once led ; it was an entirely different ball game to experience the rug being pulled from under your feet .
As I watched the memory of me having breakfast with them , I tried one more time to wake myself up .
I could live with this memory .
It was better to hold onto something nice and warm than to be reminded of the reason I was left alone in this world .
My efforts to return to the present proved futile the second time and I gave up trying .
I was scared of reliving a traumatic part of my life but if my body wasnt responding to my need to exit whatever this was , there wasnt much I could do to change anything .
In that instant , the scene changed and became quiet once more .
This was more unnerving than the first and I longed to return to the memory of the three of us as a happy family .
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I cursed under my breath and looked around ; I was standing in the living room and someone had just stepped into the house through the front door .
Her face was unfamiliar for a moment but as she walked towards the couch , I realized who she was and my eyes widened in fear as waves of panic coursed through my body .
She had come to give me the news about my parents accident and death and I didnt want to be reminded about how that felt .
I need to get out of here , I muttered , turning around to see if there was a door or a portal I could use to leave this place and get back on the plane .
Regret washed over me .
I wished I hadnt put on the sleep mask and hadnt forced myself to fall asleep .
My mind was intent on making me experience this , as I didnt find a way out ; instead , I watched a teenage version of myself walk into the living room .
My heart skipped a beat , then two , as I slapped my palm against my mouth to stop myself from yelling at teenage Charlotte to go back to her room .
I chuckled at the reaction and put my hand .
down .
This was a dream , a piece of my memory that had come together to form this string of events .
I could scream for eons and neither of them would hear me ; all I had to do was watch .
I stood rooted in one spot , watching as my heart broke into a million pieces as the lady spoke to me about the accident .
I had tried to regulate my breathing as I watched myself sobbing in her arms , Please get me out of here , I said to myself as tears rolled down my face .
Both versions of myself crying broke something else in me , Please get me out of here , I repeated but nothing changed .
I watched as she took me out of the house , leading me to her car and I remembered what was coming next .
She was taking me to the morgue , where my parents bodies lay .
I had just seen them alive and happy ; I didnt want to see them lying on a platform with the life snuffed out of their bodies .
I didnt know how I moved past that devastating point in my life , but I didnt want to relive it .
I tried to think about something else , hoping it would change the scenery .
I closed my eyes and thought about Maria , Rogerio , and the Thuthais .
I would be happy to see the estate and would be better prepared for the dreams I used to have about 21-23 O Dancing into the Heart of Mr.
Cold 28.7 % Chapter 41 Rogerio and me .
Seeing Maria would be much better but I was willing to settle with Don & Signora Thuthai if it came to that .
At this point , anything would be better than seeing my parents die .
I kept trying to conjure a different memory , then suddenly I heard my name being called in the distance .
I listened to see if my mind was having a swell time playing tricks on me but the call echoed once more , and this time I felt someone tap my arm .
I opened my eyes and looked around but there was no one in the room .
This confused me further but as I tried to make sense of the situation , I heard my name again .
This time I was plunged into darkness , I looked around in confusion but when I blinked my eyes , I heard the sound of an engine whirring in the distance and realized I was back on the plane .
I hurriedly took off the mask , happy to have gotten away from that experience , but to my surprise , I saw the man I was staring at earlier crouched next to my seat , looking at me with a concerned expression .
We locked gazes , and I instantly remembered where I had seen him ; he was the person I had bumped into on the last flight .
Chagrar $ 5 Chapter 45
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