18.3 % Chapter 29 Chapter 29 CHARLOTTE I was too stunned to make any sudden moves .
My life was crumbling before my eyes , and I couldnt do anything about it .
I slid onto a couch next to the door and sobbed quietly .
My heart raced , and my body trembled terribly .
I had finally lost everything that was important to me .
It felt like life enjoyed playing cruel tricks on me .
First , it was my dad and mom dying , leaving me to fend for myself in a world where everyone operated on a different set of rules than the one I had been raised with .
Now my husband was gone .
This cant be happening , I said to myself as tears streamed down my cheeks .
Its all a bad dream , and Ill wake up from it soon .
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly .
I wiped my face and slowly opened my eyes , hoping to meet different circumstances .
My resolve wavered as I opened my eyes and the house became silent .
I was still in the library ; nothing had changed .
The silence made it worse ; it was easier to deal with this when I could still hear people talking to each other in the hallway .
This stillness carried an air of finality with it that I refused to accept .
I stood up and walked towards the window and watched as the trucks moved away , carrying most of the items in the house .
Fresh tears rolled down my face as I watched Rogerio get into his car and follow closely behind .
Dont leave , I tried to say , but my mouth opened and no sound came forth .
I swallowed and slowly backed away from the window .
I took one more look at the library and chuckled with realization .
The shelves were empty too ; he had taken every piece of literature that lined them , and thats how I knew that we were done .
Rogerio could abandon anything but never his books .
During the months we spent getting to know each other , he referred to this room as his fortress and the books as his companions .
If he had left the books or taken some of them , I would have been assured that he would come back .
Now ? I knew that nothing of the sort would happen .
I slowly made my way out of the library and into the hallway to meet Maria , standing at the end of the room .
She lowered her head and sighed loudly .
Are you going to leave me , too ? I asked .
I understand that you work for the Thuthais , not me , and you dont have to be here .
Especially now that I dont know how Im going to pay you or anyone who works here .
My life had changed in more ways than one .
I had reverted to a life of solving my problems on my own , and this time was just as terrible as the last .
I wasnt ready to go down that path ; I didnt know the first thing about being alone , and I had no idea how I would sort out the responsibilities that came with it .
I glanced at Maria as she shifted her weight and lifted her head to meet my eyes .
She smiled sadly and shook her head slowly .
Everyones gone , Signora .
Gone ? Whats that supposed to mean ? I inquired as a puzzled expression crossed my face .
Whered they go ? Some of them left with Signor Rogerio ; the others … Well , they chose a different path , she answered , watching my 21:20 Dancing into the Heart of Mr.
Cole 18.5 % Chapter 29 reaction to the news .
I chuckled and started walking towards the bedroom .
I needed to lie down or I would do something much worse .
I couldnt tell what it was at the moment , but I knew my bedroom was the best alternative at the time .
I entered the room in quick strides and crawled under my sheets .
A few minutes later , I heard her walk into the room .
The cleaner , the butler, the gardener , and the drivers are all gone , yet youre still here .
Why ? I questioned and closed my eyes .
I couldnt bring myself to leave , Signora .
It doesnt seem right .
None of this seems right , she replied as she shut the door behind her .
No use shutting doors when its just two of us living here .
Whats the point ? Forgive me , Signora ; Im a creature of habit .
Charlotte , I corrected her and buried my head under the sheets .
What ? Charlotte .

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Thats my name , none of that Signora nonsense .
It means nothing now , I answered , and she shrugged .
Its not nonsense ; you are still Signora Thuthai .
Up until you sign the divorce papers , then you can be anything you like .
I can be anything I like , I whispered and I moved the cloth away from my face .
You say it like its that easy .
It isnt .
Nothing is easy , but the good part is that you can try .
Now you have a chance to take the cards youve been handed and make something out of them .
I wouldnt know the first thing about turning lifes lemons into lemonade , Maria , I replied , slowly dragging my body into a sitting position .
I doubt that .
You just need to find the strength to make up your mind and do what you need to do .
What I need to do … I echoed and smiled wistfully .
Well , I dont feel strong enough for anything .
Thats understandable given the circumstances .
It can also stem from the fact that you havent had anything to eat since last night .
Food is the last thing on my mind right now .
Thats rather unfortunate .
It should be the first ; you cant make good decisions on an empty stomach , she retorted and glanced at the tray on the table .
Thats cold already ; Ill make something else .
Then what ? Well throw this away .
I gestured towards the tray .
I dont think we have the luxury of being wasteful .
She chuckled .
I understand .
Ill leave you now .
I have to examine the grounds to make sure everything is in good shape .
18.8 % Chapter 29 Alright , I muttered , and she made her way to the door , Maria ?! I called out just as she pulled it open .
She stopped in her tracks and looked at me .
Her eyes held the emotion she desperately tried to conceal sympathy .
Yes , Signora ? Thank you .
For staying , I uttered , and she nodded in response and left the room , I can be anything I want to be , I asked myself as I got off the bed and moved towards the table .
I had no appetite for food , but Maria was right .
I needed to conserve energy for the work ahead .
At this point , I only sought one thing : closure , and I was going to get it .
I had done everything right by Rogerio .
I was devoted to him and what did I get in return ? A lifetime of neglect and heartbreak .
I needed to find out the reason for his actions .
This was something I shouldve done a long time ago , but I let myself be blinded by my affection .
Look how far thats gotten you , Charlotte , I mumbled drily and uncovered the plates on the tray .
I picked up a fork and dug into the meal in front of me as I considered my options .
There were a few ways to find out what Rogerio had been up to , and a few of them included spending money I wasnt sure I had anymore .
I couldnt afford a private investigator , and it would be rather stupid to put it on his tab .
If someone was divorcing you , they certainly had no desire to accommodate your expenses .
Especially if those expenses revolved around hiring someone to stalk them .
I had one other option ; it was risky given that he had warned me about coming to wherever he had moved to , but I had to do it anyway .
The only way he could press charges was if I got caught .
All I have to do is avoid getting caught , I said to myself and shoved a fork full of pasta into my mouth .
I could barely taste the meal , but I couldnt care less .
I had my mind set on what I wanted to do , and the food was simply a means to an end .
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