376 hapter 43 Chapter 43 CHARLOTTE I opened my eyes the next morning , a few minutes before the alarm went off and the memories of the previous night danced through my mind .
I smiled wistfully , content with the decision I had made , but still feeling like I had lost something .
I tried to shake it off and focus on the fact that I had given myself quite the experience .
I turned off the alarm and got out of bed .
I looked around the hotel room and realized that I had forgotten to check for cameras or get an extra lock for the door .
Need to make better decisions , I muttered , eyeing the rooms disarray , a reflection of my current state of life .
It wasnt terrible , but I had a flair for the dramatic .
Clothes were strewn about , my notepad upside down it all amplified my self criticism .
I had to remind myself that this wasnt Milan ; littering didnt mean I was stressing the person cleaning up after me .
This time , I had to take care of my mess .
It felt good and terrifying at the same time .
I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth and started picking things off the couch and floor .
Waking up early had given me the advantage I desired .
I could get my things in order and still make it to the airport in record time .
A few minutes later , I was boarding the plane and settling in .
I watched as the other passengers got on and found their seats .
I felt better being settled in early and tried to ignore the voice in my head that kept insisting booking first class was a bad idea .
Before arriving at the hotel , I gave in to my desires and upgraded from business class to first class .
The experience of flying economy from Milan to Newark taught me a few valuable lessons .
Firstly , I never want to be in that situation again if I have the means to avoid it .
Secondly , since this was a one way trip and I could afford it at this point , why not treat myself to the luxury of first class ? I listened to the flight attendant as she cheerfully provided information to the passengers about the flight and wondered if she genuinely enjoyed her job .
I had read about it some time ago .
The pay was great , but the constant travel made me uncertain if it was something I wanted to pursue .
As snacks were passed around , I found myself intrigued by the idea of traveling the world and making money at the same time , but I wasnt completely convinced .
I grabbed my notepad and wrote down the job title on a new page .
I began jotting down the qualifications mentioned in the article I had read and shook my head in contemplation .
I had already exceeded my initial budget by purchasing this ticket for the flight and staying longer than planned in Newark .
Maybe this time I needed to stick to a routine .
I tuned out her voice and the whirring of the planes engine as I flipped through the pages .
My eyes found their target : a section in the middle where I had written my plans for Los Angeles .
A new life awaited me in a city I used to call home , but I didnt expect it to be kind or familiar to me .
I hadnt been there in a few years , and denying that anything had changed would be folly on my part .
I tried to prepare myself for whatever lay ahead of me : getting an apartment , finding a job , and getting into school 21:23 Dancing into the Heart of Mr.
Ce 27.89 % Chapter 43 were the first items on my list .
I attempted to list out places where I would like to work , but I only had experience working as a bartender .
I didnt feel very confident that I would be able to get back into that line of work ; I was rusty and might need bartending classes , which would mean spending more money .
Nope , not doing that , I whispered , chewing on the tip of my pencil .
I glanced at the list of establishments I had jotted down .
I needed to create a resume promptly to apply to these places .
I was open to working as a secretary or a waitress in a restaurant .
The specific job role didnt bother me ; I was a quick learner and just wanted a steady income .
As I looked at my school plans , I let out a sigh .
A frown creased my face as I realized that whatever job I chose , it had to allow time for my studies as well .
Working and studying simultaneously was not going to be easy , but I assured myself that I could manage it .
I decided to give it a try , at the very least .
If that doesnt work out , Ill try something else , I said as I put down the note .
I looked at the flight attendant , who had stopped talking and stepped out of the way for the last passenger to board the plane .
I tried to hide my curiosity as he walked down the aisle and settled in the seat opposite mine .
He had an air of familiarity around him , which left me feeling intrigued , as I couldnt recall where I had seen him .
The pilots voice boomed through the aircraft , and I forced myself to listen and stop staring at him .
It was rude to stare anyway , and if I couldnt place where we had met before , I might just be overthinking it , as I was during the interview .
As the flight attendants passed warm towels around and showed some passengers the location of the requested items , my thoughts drifted back to Milan once more .
A few years ago , I wouldnt have entertained the idea of moving to a different city , but here I was , on my way to an entirely different continent .
Despite the feeling of uncertainty that lingered at the back of my mind , it felt like I had taken a huge leap , and I needed to appreciate myself for being brave enough to do it .
I sighed and closed my eyes as the plane started to ascend .

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I tried to conjure up old memories of Los Angeles , but my mind seemed to come up with nothing .
At first , it felt great to be unable to remember memories of my life that seemed traumatic , but after a while , I started to feel unsettled by the idea .
I had lived in Los Angeles as a child , up until my early teenage years when my parents died .
Then I spent the next few years in and out of foster homes , learning the city by heart as my life unfolded terribly before my eyes .
A family that lived outside L.A.
had once opened the doors of their home to me , but I ran back two nights later when I witnessed the husband beating up his wife .
I was terrified for myself ; if he could do that to his wife , whom he was supposed to love , I didnt want to find out what else he was capable of .
I remember reporting the case to the social worker , but they shelved it , throwing a tantrum because I didnt want to be with a foster family .
When the woman wound up dead a few weeks later , I pleaded to be left alone to care for myself and get a job while living in an orphanage .
The offer had been met with some opposition , but a few weeks later , they agreed to give it a try .
They never told me why they had suddenly changed their minds , but I heard among the older kids that someone had sent in instructions on my behalf .
I was intrigued by this information , but not being able to verify it left me feeling frustrated .
If there was someone who cared enough to ensure I remained in foster care , why didnt they come to collect me ? After a few weeks , I stopped dwelling on the thought and decided to take control of my life .
28.0 % Chapter 43 I secured a part time job as a waitress and , after graduating from high school .
I began working double shifts to save up enough money to leave the city .
My mind had developed a mechanism to suppress the traumatic memories , but as we neared our destination , some of them started to resurface , I tried to focus on something else , but my eyes flew open of their own accord as the sound of a barely audible baritone voice filtered through the space .
I turned my eyes in the direction of the voice and found the familiar man staring at me intently .
I blinked in confusion as we locked gazes for a few seconds .
Then he turned and looked at the person sitting behind him .
They engaged in a friendly conversation for a few minutes , and then he turned around and picked up a book .
I lowered my gaze and stared at my feet , resisting the urge to initiate a conversation with him .
I was certain I had seen him somewhere , but I had no idea how to bring it up without seeming like a creep .
Especially since he had just seen me staring at him .
It felt like doing anything else would be undeniably creepy , so I reached for the sleep mask and covered my eyes .
If I couldnt get myself to sleep , I could fake it till I made it ; that seemed a lot better than embarrassing myself .
A few moments later , I slipped into a dream that left me feeling like I should have stayed awake throughout the flight .