Chapter 2 Beth I pulled the chain to lower the ladder to the attic in the old Victorian mansion .
It slid down with a thump and a flurry of dust , Stay down here .
ordered Lucy .
The floor isnt safe And then I gripped the flashlight with one hand and climbed into the dusty , musty space under the steeply sloping The attic wasnt finished , so I had to step carefully on the support beams to keep from falling through the insulation , into the rooms below .
I swung the flashlight around and prayed that no spiders would find their way into my hair .
At one end , near the chimney , some plywood had been put down to create a storage space , and piles of boxes , old sutcases , chests and broken furniture had been piled haphazardly against the bricks .
Nana Charlie loved Christmas above all else , and I knew there were boxes upon boxes of Christmas decorations buried in this pile , I just had to find one with some fun things that Lucy could put out , and then I could get out of the small , dark space .
was not a fan of small , dark spaces .
Or spiders .
I slapped at my face , imagining I felt something crawling up my cheek , and aimed the light at the boxes Why hadnt Charlie labeled anything ? I picked up the first box and pried open the flaps , only to find a collection of iced skates .
Some ladies figure skates , and a bunch more child sized hockey skates .
That might be something to explore later .
Maybe I could find some skates in Lucys size .
I set that one a little aside , and reached for another large box that was wedged between two others .
As I tugged at the weak carton , a small shoebox slid off the pile .
As it crashed in a billow of dust and dead bugs , the cover came out , and its contents spilled across the plywood , and I realized the box was full of old photographs .
I started scooping them back into a pile , and dumping them in , without looking at the faces in the yellowed pictures .
Maybe someday I should go through them with Nana Charlie , so that Lucy could know the names of her ancestors and distant relatives .
Someday when I actually had time .
I picked up the last photograph and flipped it over , shining the flashlight down on the image .
I didnt need Charlie to tell me who was in the picture .
My younger self grinned happily at the camera , while I was securely tucked under the arm of a all , well buit young man .
He had dark , curling hair and laughing honey colored eyes , and the most adorable dimple carved into his left cheek .
Just like Lucy The young man was dressed in a charcoal grey tux , and I was wearing a baby blue dress with cold shoulders and a long , full skirt .
I felt something tug inside my chest as I traced a finger over that dress , remembering how I had painstakingly sewed it together from scraps of fabric Id been given out of the Townline High Schools Drama Department costume shop .
Just so I could have a dress to wear to the Winter Formal Dance .
Officially , Id gone alone with some girlfriends , I wasnt allowed to date boys .
Unofficially … that was the night that Raphael Segretto had asked me to Id never really understood why he would choose me , a mere fifteen year old freshman , and possibly the most weird and awkward girl in the history of the school , when he was a senior .
Not just a senior .
He was practically a god .
A good student , and top performing athlete , class president , and the fest born son of a very wealthy Italian family .
I thought Tiring the flashlight , I noticed something in the photo that I hadnt been aware of when the snap had been taken .
Just off in the background , Gabriel was standing with las arms crossed over his chest , and a very sour expression on his otherwise handsome face .
While Rale and I smiled happily at the Camela , Gabe stared at les letter with an expression of pure hatred .
gud back then , Id never noticed how insanely jealous Gabriel was of his older brother .
Why would he be jealous ? He was also a das team right .
He also got good grades , was captain of the basketball team , and was well liked by everyone .
He could have had any girl in the had to do was crock las frget , and they came flanking * You dont kewer what you dont know I said out loud as I tucked the picture back into the box and replaced the slightly mangled lid .
Here were po pictures of Staphael in the house downstairs , except for the photo that Nana Chailla kept in her nightstand .
Gabriel had demanded that Hay all be taken down atal ( lauwn away after we got married , saying it would be too painful and too confusing if I had to look at his brothers face every At fest , I thought it was a Chapter 2 I finally tugged that big box loose and opened the flaps .
A whole assortment of Christmas paraphernalia was waiting inside .
Satisfied , I held the flashlight in my mouth , and started the balance -beam walk back to the ladder .
It was a bit of a tight squeeze , but after some wiggling I was able to back down the narrow steps with the box in hand .
Lucy was still waiting at the bottom , bouncing impatiently .
What took you soooo long ? Whats in the box ? Wait , wait , I swatted her little hands away from the box and turned to fold the ladder back up and close the trap door to the attic .
Lets take it downstairs .
Maybe Nana Charlie would like to help .
Yeah , yeah , yeah ! Lucy tore off down the curving staircase so fast , it was a wonder she didnt fall and break her neck .
I followed more slowly , balancing the box on my hip .
It wasnt particularly heavy , but the weak cardboard was floppy and awkward .
From the sitting room I heard Lucy shout , Nana Nana come put up decorations with us ! Nana Charlie was sitting in her favorite recliner , a remote controlled one that could lift her up and dump her out on her feet .
She used the television remote with her left hand to shut off the soap operas shed been watching .
I set the box down on the hearth and allowed Lucy to pull open the flaps .
111 grab a dust rag I said , as she started pulling out the items .
A felt Santas boot that was made to hold a jar of candy .
A Christmas mailbox with letters to Santa and holly spilling out the open door .
A wind up music box with little skating figurines that moved around a mirror glass pond .
Each and every piece held bitter sweet memories for me .
Judging by the way Nana Charlies eyes were watering , it was hard for her too .
After all , shed lost her husband around Christmastime too , the same season that my own life fell apart .
I went to the kitchen and pulled a dust rag out of the cleaning drawer , and came back to give the decorations a cursory wipe .
Just as I set the mailbox out on the side table , Lucy dived in the box and came up with a little dried up bunch of greens tied together with a worn red velvet ribbon .
Her Inttle nose wrinkled up as she examined the item , What is this ? I think someone left a dead plant in the box I took the dried greens from her and turned them over in my hands .
Its mistletoe .
She tipped her head to the side like a curious bird .
Whats a mistletoe ? Wait ! Dont movel Look where you are standing ! I looked around cluelessly .
I didnt know what the big deal was .
Look up , silly ! I looked up , and saw a little bunch of green stuff with white berries tied with a red ribbon over the arched entry .
Ummm ? I had no idea what it was or what its significance , but suddenly Rafe was standing very close to me Dont you know what that is ? He poked a finger into the greenery .
Um , its a pretty decoration ? He laughed , Its mistletoe , silly .
Mistletoe ? Dont you know about mistletoe ? I shook my head .
I was having a hard time thinking , let alone speaking with Rafe standing so close to me .
There couldnt be more than a centimeter between our bodies .
I could actually feel his body heat radiating off his chest .
When a couple meets under the mistletoe , they have to kiss .
Its tradition .
Unexpectedly , his arm circled my back , closing that tiny distance , and he looked at me in a way that made my stomach jump .
You want to kiss me ? i squeaked .
He nodded solemnly Would that be okay ? Would that be okay ? 77 Okay ? 17 I felt a weird mix of panic and excitement .
Id never kissed a boy .
My parents would ground me for eternity if they knew I was even entertaining the thought , And Mama Charlie was right there in the kitchen .
Im sure she could see us .
Wouldnt she be appalled to see her son kissing a girl right in her sitting room ? But yeah , sure , it was perfectly okay ! Because Id been fantasizing about klasing those lips since before I accidentally plowed into him in the hallway at school I nodded , even though I had no idea how to kiss .
My only frame of reference was a few movies Id seen .
Chapter 2 I stood like a frozen fence post as he dipped his head and pressed his lips against mine .
They were warm and dry and surprisingly firm .
I thought he would just peck my lips and retreat , but he lingered there for a second or two Rafe lifted his head and smiled down at me .

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Tve been wanting to do that for a very long time Mommy ? Are you crying ? Lucys childish voice shook me out of my memories .
No , why would I be crying ? I scrubbed my eyes .
1 think its all this dust making my eyes water .
This old thing has seen better days .
I think we had better throw it in the trash I started toward the kitchen , but Nana Charlie made a noise of protest .
N_n_no .
She held out a small , bony hand .
I walked over to the recliner and put the dried up floral piece in her palm .
She reached for the lace handkerchief she always kept in her pocket , and carefully folded the brittle plant in the white fabric