Chapter 1 Beth My six year old daughter had her nose plastered against the sliding glass door , watching the big fluffy snowflakes drift down from a steel grey sky to create a delicate white veil over the replicated statue of Apollo and Daphne that graced the front yard .
Look Mommy ! Its snowing ! Lucy said happily Can we get the Christmas decorations down now ? I tried not to groan out loud .
I didnt want to dampen her vivacious holiday spirit with my Scrooge attitude .
She was too little to understand that Christmas was the day that my heart was forever and irrevocably broken .
Not to mention the cold weather meant the heating bill was going to skyrocket .
Not today , Peanut , I said , as I finished rinsing the breakfast dishes .
I have to take Nana Charlie to physical therapy today .
She turned from the window and gave me a sad , accusatory look with her whiskey colored eyes .
But you said After Thanksgiving ! Its after Thanksgiving I wiped my hands on a kitchen towel and then hung it neatly over the faucet .
I know , I know .
I tell you what , let me take care of Nana first , and then 111 go up into the attic and take down one box .
Just one ? her lower lip twitched like she was thinking about pouting .
To start , I said , circling the counter to give her hair a ruffle .
Well get the rest down on Saturday She put her hands on her little hips .
Do you promise ? Yes , I promise .
Never make yo your kid a promise you cant keep .
That was I was one of my parenting mantras .
and Lucy finally nodded , and her shiny black curls danced around her cherubic face .
I was so glad she had inherited her fathers dark Italian good looks , not my pasty skin and flaming red hair .
Go start your worksheets while I get Nana ready She danced off to the study , where she had a little desk set up in the corner , neatly organized with her days home school assignments .
I went down the opposite hall .
The small room had once been Nana Charlies craft room , but after she had the stroke , she could no longer get up and down the stairs to her bedroom on the second story .
So I cleaned out the sewing machine and the shelves of fabric and ribbons and threads and replaced them with a sturdy twin bed , and the side table and bureau from her bedroom upstairs .
I knocked lightly on the door before I pushed it open and poked my head inside .
Good morning , Nana Charlie , I said brightly .
Shall we get ready for your appointment today ? Charlotte Charlie Segretto was my ex mother in- law , but she had been a better mom to me than my own biological mother had ever been.
She was a tiny but formidable italian woman , with long , straight hair that was still more black than white .
Since the stroke , her right side was very weak , and she had difficulty talking .
Gabriel had wanted to put her in a nursing home .
But when he found out how much it would cost , he agreed to let me continue to stay in the house and take care of her .
Especially when I pledged to cover all the maintenance and upkeep on the old Victorian monstrosity .
I didnt have the money to rent an apartment for me and Lucy after the divorce .
Little did I know how expensive the old house was going to be .
The meager Income I made at my tailoring shop was barely enough to feed us , let alone keep the big old house with heat and electricity .
But , it was the only home that Lucy had ever known .
Its not like Gabe needed the house anyway , he had moved into a newer , modern lake house with hi sick .
his new wife , Ashley , long before Nana Charlie got I helped Charlie finish getting dressed in a bright purple sweat suit , and then set the walker in front of her .
She scowled at it fiercely .
She didnt need to speak to let the world know how much she hated the assistive device .
She took it from me , shook it a little bit like she wanted to wring its metallic parts like a skinny neck , and then braced herself , so I could help her stand .
Lucy ! Lets go ! Get your coat and boots on ! I called , as Charlie started her slow shuffle to the back door .
Lucy came running down the hallway , and skidded to a stop .
Hi Nana Charliel Quess what ? Its snowing ! Were going to start decorating for Christmas today ! Charlie tried to smile , but only the left half of her face responded , leaving her expression strangely asymmetrical Lucy pulled on her winter boots and her coat , and then doshed out the door without her hat and mittens .
Like._her_fa … fo Charlie said , shaking her head .
Chapter 1 Father , I finished for her , I wondered if Nana was referring to my ex husband , or to Lucys actual birth father .
But I didnt ask her to clarify Lucy didnt know that Gabriel wasnt her real dad , and I didnt want to confuse Charlie if shed forgotten .
Nana Charlie couldnt get down the front steps , so we went out through the garage , and I helped her get settled in the passenger seat .
Luckily , she was small , like a fragile little bird , and I was able to maneuver her by myself .
Once I got her buckled in , I checked that Lucy was secured in her booster seat, and I slid behind the wheel praying that the aging Honda would start .
It was quite temperamental , especially now that the temperatures were dropping below freezing .
Luckily , it turned over easily , and I was able to drive Nana to the physical therapist for her thrice weekly session with Mitchel .
I ignored the sign for Segretto Realty as we drove past .
The sign featured Gabes smiling face as he stood with his arm around a grinning blonde Ashley .
But Lucy saw it and bounced in her seat .
Look ! Look , Daddys office ! Can we stop ? I tried not to grind my teeth together .
Yes , thats Daddys office , but you know hes not inside .
Hes probably out showing houses .
Oh , She sounded so disappointed .
My heart ached for her .
Then she perked up again , Do you think Daddy will be home for Christmas ? I glanced over at Nana Charlie .
Her blue eyes looked back at me , full of sympathy and understanding .
I gripped the steering wheel tighter as I tried to let my daughter down gently .
I dont think so , baby .
Daddy is probably going to Ashleys familys home for Christmas again this year , In the rear view mirror , I saw my daughter deflate again .
She fell silent and looked morosely out the window at the snow that no longer held any magic or excitement .

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I could kill Gabe for disappointing her .
He might not be her sperm donor , but his name was on her birth certificate .
He was the only man Lucy had ever known as her father .
When Raphael Segretto left me seven years ago , alone , pregnant and desperate , his younger brother Gabe had stepped up and offered to marry me .
He gave us a home , a family , and he gave Lucy his last name .
He might not care about me , but didnt he love Lucy , at least a little bit ? Apparently not .
Gabes visits since he married Ashley had been few and far between .
In fact , he hadnt made time to do a daddy daughter day in months .
And the meager amount of child support hed promised during our divorce proceedings had also dwindled away to nothing .
I pulled into the Townline Physical Therapy office and parked the car near the handicap accessible ramp .
Okay , Nana , I said with forced cheerfulness , Time to do your exercises !