Chapter 10 Raphael Trying to talk to my mother was heartbreaking semories of my mother were of more Itakan than English if she was really riled up .
Now she struggled to get out even words , I could hardly understand her .
ho talked fast , talked loudly and usually moved in But she had made one thing abundantly clear .
She didnt want Bethany to leave Mom had gone so far as to point her finger at me and shake it , like she was threatening me We sat down on the old sofa in the living room , facing the fireplace .
We careful to keep a big space , the width of one cushion between us Bethany sat stiffly , like the was sitting in church , her back so straight it looked like her neck might snap .
Her fingers twisted nervously in her lap and she kept her eyes glued on her daughter , as her daughter struggled to drag the big package out from under the Christmas a big ? Lucy grunted as she pulled it into the center of the room .
Then she stopped and looked at her mother .
Can I open Bethany forced a stiff smile .
Mr.
Segreto brought it for you .
You may open it What is Uncle Segretto ? Lucy you can call me Uncle Rafe I corrected I could see a red flush creeping up Bethanys neck .
I thought I understood her discomfort .
After seven years , was no reason the kid had to suffer for it .
going to be awkward .
But there Lucy grinned and tore into the packaging , bits of paper flying everywhere .
Inside the paper was a giant stuffed bear , wearing a Santa hat and a knitted Christmas sweater which said Beary Christmas in bright red yarn .
Oh , wow , thank you Uncle Rafel its so big ! And so soft ! She clutched the bear , which was almost as tall as she was Why dont you go show Nane Charlie before you take it up to your room ? Beth suggested softly .
And the child tore out of the room , carrying the grant teddy bear on her back .
A moment later I could hear her childish voice chattering away to my mother in the kitchen .
Bethany cleared her throat, and forced her fingers to be still by pressing her palms against her thighs .
Something she always did when she was nervous .
Thank you for the gift , it was very generous of you It was nothing .
I waved away her gratitude .
We all got off to a bad start , and I wanted to make it up to her Yes , Bethany agreed .
1 went to see my brother at the lake house I said , watching her face for reaction She grimaced slightly and said nothing , but I saw her fingernails dig into the fabric of her trousers I didnt realize that you and Gabe had gotten divorced .
Im sorry ? She gave me a fake , tight lipped smile .
No apology necessary .
It was the best thing for all of us .
She tipped her chin up sightly , like she was trying to be brave .
Like she was trying to make it true .
The thing was , I wasnt really sorry at a at all .
But I pushed that thought aside .
So , Gabe told me that you are the one who has been caring for Mom since her stroke .
Yes , thats correct Can you tell me how her recovery has been ? For about ten minutes she talked about Moms treatments .
There was speech therapy once a week and physical therapy three times a week .
Moms progress had been slow , but positive .
She was able to walk short distances with the walker , feed herself , chew and swallow her food without choking She made it sound like even the few words Mom was able to speak were signs of progress .
Clearly .
Barthany had been giving Mom the best care , far better than any stranger could have done .
Mom was able to stay in her own home , with someone she loved , and that was probably worth more than whatever salary Gabe was paying her .
So , um , you bought Mountain Top ? She said , ging me a sideways look .
1 remember the summer we spent working in the riding stables .
fear that I might accidentally touch her , she was still single she might bolt off Yeah , I let my arm rest on the back of the couch .
There was no couch if I made any sudden moves .
thec Such a contrast from the younger Beth , who used to burrow under my arm at every opportunity .
The girl who used to hold my hand in the car on our y to work at the resort in the early mornings .
The girl would sneak into the tack room for a kiss , even though we both smelled like horse sweat .
ure and saddle soap .
The girl who had looked at me like I was the only man in the world .
Now she looked at me warty kke I might throw her out of the house .
my fingers like it I had a weird compulsion to reach out and touch her hair , to see if it was as soft and silky as I remembered , if it still curled around my fingers wanted to touch me as much as I longed to feel it .
It did , and I rubbed the strands between my fingers , savoring the texture , and the bitter sweet memes it evoked I Her eyes widened , and her breath caught .
Suddenly , that cushion separating us seemed like the Grand Canyon .
And I was going to cross it , because i wanted to get closer .
But as soon as I shifted off my weight , she bolted off the couch like shed been shot from a canon .
Let me just clean up this mess … she muttered , as she started gathering the scraps of wrapping paper .
I sat and watched her , noticing the way she bit her bottom lip , the way she kept her eyes down as she swept up the paper with her hands and then wadded it up .
Was she that tense and uptight because of me ? Or was there something else ? I stood , and stepped next to her .
I knew it was dangerous , ill advised .
This was a woman I should be avoiding at all costs .
Shed betrayed me once .
I would never give her the opportunity to do it again .
But I couldnt seem to help myself , I wanted , needed to push her .
Her hands , full of wadded up wrapping paper , shook nervously as she stared up at me .
How could she still look so guileless , so innocent ? Those lips still looked so … kissable .
I had to remind myself that my brother had kissed those lips .
The thought should have been chilling , but somehow , it didnt even seem relevent .
I looked over at the arched doorway and tilted my head .
Theres no mistletoe this year , I murmured , stepping away from her .
Yeah , I , um , didnt hang one this year .
When I looked into her eyes , they seemed haunted and extra moist .
I stood under the archway and looked up the carved staircase .
Im just going to go have a look at my old room .
It is still … my old room , right ? She clutched the paper against her chest like a shield .
Um , y yes , B But its locked .

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Ill go get the key She turned and practically ran from the room