Chapter 18 Chapter 18 I frantically clawed at the soil with my bare hands , dirt and blood collecting under my fingernails .
I kept digging until I uncovered bone .
In that moment , I broke down completely .
I carefully excavated the remains entangled in the tree roots .
Among the soil , I discovered fragments of the white coat hed worn that day .
It was Joseph .
Id found him ! After all this time , Id finally found him ! It felt as though hed seen my grief and gently tapped my head , as if saying , Dont waste your anger on those who dont deserve it .
Let the past rest .
I cradled his skull and whispered , Lets go home .
Were finally going home .
I took leave from work , brought his ashes back to my country , and laid him to rest beside my mother .
On the day of the burial , Jackson appeared .
Hed lost considerable weight , his face gaunt and exhausted .
He placed two white chrysanthemums on my mothers and Josephs graves , telling me hed figured everything out .
He showed me an apology video on Saras Instagram .
In it , she confessed to everyone shed deceived .
She admitted she hadnt traveled the world as claimed shed fabricated that persona to make Jackson yearn for her , and shed been cruel to me out of jealousy over my engagement to Jackson .
After we watched , Jackson called Sara right there .
Her voice dripped with remorse .
Jackson , I apologized like you asked ! You promised wed get married is that still true ? No , he replied coldly.
I wont marry you .
You lied to me , and I lied to you .
Were even now .
I only made you apologize because you hurt Zoey .
Lets never cross paths again .
He hung up , blocked her number , and turned to me .
About the camera Im sorry .
I didnt know it was your mothers memento .
I shook my head .
Dont bother apologizing .
Ill never forgive you .
Jackson bowed his head heavily .
Im sorry about my brother too … He reached out many times after leaving for the Nyara Republic , but I always berated him , blamed him … I knew our parents forcing me to break up with Sara wasnt his fault , but I lacked the courage to leave .
I envied him .
He stared at Josephs gravestone .
If I hadnt been such a coward , if Id gone with him… maybe I Backun Girl No More : Adios To My V Card and My First Love 28.9 Chapter 18 would have met you , had a fair chance with you .
No one can go back to the past , I replied evenly .
What ifs dont matter .
I loved Joseph , thats all there is to it .
Jackson sighed softly .
Perhaps Ill join Médecins Sans Frontières … try to be closer to you , atone for my regrets .

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I remembered something then .
Someone once said your brother never really wanted to be a doctor .
He always thought of you , hoping youd discover who you truly wanted to be .
Dont set yourself up for more regrets .
Jackson froze , his eyes reddening with memories .
I picked up the chrysanthemums .
Neither of them liked white chrysanthemums .
Dont bring them again .
I handed the flowers back and walked away .
Backup Girl No More : Adios T