Chapter 186 Chapter 186 EMERIEL Emeriel wept .
0472 % She lost awareness of everything , her problems , her surroundings , even who she was with .
Surrendering to the pain once more , Emeriel mourned everything she had wanted and all that would never be hers .

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She mourned the horrible , horrible life she lived .
I wish they had never hidden who I was when I was born .
I wish I never had to live like this .
So what if I lived female ? Being sold to the breeding houses would have been better .
Emeriel had never been one for regrets , but in that moment , regret was all she felt .
Whats so wrong about becoming a harlot ? Its an awful life , but then thered be no deceit , no crushing secrets … no Urai .
I wouldnt have to live like this .
We would have never met .
I wish my parents never tried to protect me .
A hand rested on her shoulder .
She flinched from that touch before her mind registered if as … safe .
It took her a moment to come back to herself , to remember where she was and whom she was with .
She gazed up at King Daemonikai .
All the anger had drained from him .
There was no annoyance in his touch , it was gentle , comforting .
Then , his hands slid under Emeriels arms , gripping her sides , lifting her effortlessly .
Her legs automatically wrapped around his waist as he carried her across the room and settled onto the plush cushion .
Its alright , the grand king murmured .
Let it all out .
More tears flowed , and she welcomed them , clinging to him .
Gripping his robes like an anchor .
Her eyes hurt , swollen and red from crying .
Her cheeks sore from swiping at tears for days .
Im just so tired , she whispered brokenly .
I just want it to stop .
I want all of this to stop .
The exhaustion hit her all at once .
The nights of constant worry , extreme stress , and little sleep had finally caught up her .
Galilea … with Emeriel .
Please … call me Emeriel .
There was a pause .
Im sorry for my outburst , Emeriel .
He exhaled heavily .
I was waiting to do this , thinking Id have my feelings under control by now … turns out I was wrong .
I didnt think about how all of this would affect you , and for that , I am sorry .
His hand stroked her hair , and she leaned into him , resting her head against his chest .
She could hear the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath her ear .
Im really sorry for everything .
For the lies , for the meltdown .
Emeriel forced her eyes open , fighting the pull of sleep .
I have always known this bond would not work .
Your people will never accept me … Everything you said , it wasnt anything I didnt already know .
Still , I shouldnt have said it the way I did , King Daemonikai admitted .
And for that , Im sorry .
I see things from a different now , it helped me understand better .
It must have been hard for you , living with all of this .
It was .
She swallowed , her throat tight .
But having a sister like mine made it easier .
Aekeira … she bore the burden with me .
13:07 Sat , Jan 18 t B B.
Chapter 186 She Emeriel stiffened .
Do not worry , young princess , King Daemonikai said softly .
Your sister is not in trouble .
I already figured she knew everything , after all , she is your sister .
7220 He let out another tired sigh , heavy with weariness .
Making sure the bond does not fester … its for the best .
I feel as empty inside as I ever have .
Theres nothing left in me to give you , Emeriel .
Nothing .
Can you tell me about them ? she asked , hesitant .
Your family ? A long silence reigned , and Emeriel wondered if he had heard her .
She could feel the tension in his body , the muscles tightened at her question .
way his I cannot , he uttered at last , so low , she almost missed it .
It hurts too much to talk about .
The amount of pain in those few words shattered the last of Emeriels fragile hope .
Any lingering thoughts she had of them being together , of the bond working out , disappeared like a gust of wind .
This male was too hurt , too broken .
He walked through life as if everything was fine , leading his people , masking the truth of how completely shattered he was inside .
But Emeriel saw it now , clearer than ever .
He has not yet grieved , there is no healing within sight .
You still have trouble sleeping , dont you ? she murmured .
It was easier when I could not manage at all .
I see them every night in my dreams .
His tone was raspy .
Their faces are still so clear , as if it all happened yesterday .
I should have told Alvin I forgave him , that I held no grudge against him .
I should not have told Myka to protect his mother with his life … that it was okay to save himself .
I should have protected them .
I failed them all .
Emeriel gave in to the need to comfort him , rubbing his side in slow , soothing circles .
I do not know them , but from everything Ive heard , you raised wonderful children , my king .
I do not believe they would ever think you failed them .
You protected your people .
Yet the kingdom moves on while my world crumbled around me , he said bitterly .
I do not regret saving over five thousand lives that night .
But I regret with every fiber of my being not saving my family .
That guilt will be forever etched into my soul .
Your Grace … Sleep , little one .
he cut her off gently , his hand resting in her hair .
If your exhaustion is so great that it seeps through my mental shield , then you need rest .
His words took a moment to register , but when they did , her brow furrowed .
Mental shield ? Yes .
King Daemonikai resumed stroking her hair .
At a later time , I will teach you how to set up your own mental shield … to TM suppress the bond when it becomes too much , to control the foreign emotions you can feel from me , he sighed .
I reckon its harder for you .
You have felt the bond longer , even when I was feral .
But with a proper shield , you can learn to control it , learn how to manage it .
She nodded slowly , her eyes fluttering closed .
For now , you sleep .