Chapter 21 % The days blurred together I stopped watching the news .
Stopped searching for Johans name Stopped looking at the engagement .
photos splashed across every media outlet I forced myself to focus on one thing my baby Jayson stayed with me , making sure late , making sure I rested .
I knew he was trying to distract me , trying to keep me from falling apart .
But he didnt have to say it he knew I was breaking .
My mother also visited once in a while but I didnt want to burden them .
I just wanted them to keep my location a secret .
Every night , I lay in bed , hands resting on my belly , whispering stories to the little life growing inside me .
I told them about Johan .
How he made me laugh , how he always smelled like cedarwood and rain , how his touch made the world feel less heavy I told the baby lies too .
That their father didnt love me .
That I didnt love him either .
That we were better off without him .
It was the only way I could keep breathing but honestly , I didnt know what would happen if the baby asked about his father .
) g the rain That night , Jayson went out to buy food , promising to be back soon .
I sat by the window , cradling my stomach watching drizzle against the glass .
The air was quiet , too quiet .
!! Then a knock I sighed , assuming Jayson forgot something .
My steps were slow as I made my way to the door .
I pulled it oper without thinking- > And froze It was Johan .
He was soaked from the rain .
Furious .
My breath caught in my throat .
His gaze swept over me my rounded belly , my swollen features , my trembling hands .
His jaw clenched .
Before I could react , I slammed the door .
But he was faster , Johan shoved his way inside , his grip strong as he pushed the door open and stepped in !! Youre due already His voice was rough , thick with something unreadable .
I took a shaky step back .
Get out He ignored me .
Youre carrying my child .
And you were going to hide from me ? My chest tightened .
You dont get to act like the victim , Johan He let out a sharp laugh , but there was no humor in it .
You left me at the altar , Anastacia , You disappeared without a word .
You ruined me .
Why did you do that ? Was it because of Jayson ? Youre living with him now ? Is that it ? Tears stung my eyes , but I refused to let them fall i did what I had to do For who ? He took a step closer For me ? You thought I wanted this ? I pushed at his chest , trying to create space .
Johan , just leave .
No He grabbed my wrists , pinning them against the wall behind me .
You dont get to I struggled against his hold .
Let me go !! Not until you tell me the truth .

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His voice cracked Did you ever love me ? o walk away again Silence .
I forced myself to look him in the eyes , ignoring the way my heart ached at the desperation in them .
No.
I was just using you .
He flinched E Youre lying .
he whispered .
I lifted my chin .
I dont love you , Johan .
His hands trembled against mine .
Say it again I swallowed .
I Dont Love- Pain Sharp Sudden Unbearable .
I gasped , my knees buckling Johan caught me immediately his anger vanishing .
Anastacia ? ! My vision blurred as another wave of pain shot through me .
My breath came in short gasps .
Johans face paled Shit youre in labor Everything moved too fast .
Johan carried me to his car , his grip on me terrified but steady .
He kept whispering , Hold on , baby , just hold on ospital , the contractions were unbearable .
The doctors I barely heard him .
The pain consumed me .
By the time we reached the hospital , rushed me inside , shouting orders , nurses surrounding me .
Johan never let go of my hand .
Its okay , youre okay he kept saying Tim here , Anastacia .
Im night here .
But I was so tired .
So , so tired .
Somewhere in the chaos , I heard the doctors voice .
We need to do an emergency C section .
Shes losing too much strength Johans hand tightened around mine .
Do whatever it takes Just save them both The world faded .
I let the darkness pull me under I woke up to silence .
The sterile scent of the hospital burned my nose .
My body felt weak , my stomach sore from the surgery .
I turned my head , expecting to see Johan .
But the chair beside my bed was empty My heart pounded Wheres my baby ? A nurse entered , carrying a small envelope .
She smiled softly , but something in her eyes made my stomach twist .
Wheres my baby ? I whispered .
The nurse hesitated , then placed the envelope on my lap I grabbed it with shaking hands , ripping it open I A single letter My vision blurred as I read the words The only way youll see our baby is if you come back to me Johan The room spun .
I clutched my chest , my breathing ragged , the reality of it sinking in