Chapter 0119 Alexander POV +25 BONUS Ella was still asleep long after I had woke n up , which was to be expected after what shed been through the previous day .

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I had no intention of waking her ; she would get up when she was ready .
In the meantime , I walked quietly around the apartment , handling the business of the day that couldnt be put off .
I sent emails and text messages and gave orders to my pack and employees to ensure that things continued to run smoothly despite my absence .
It was a sign of a poorly run business if the absence of a single person caused everything to come to a screeching halt .
I took pride in the fact that my business could operate well without me , at least for a while .
It meant I had successfully established the business and hired the right people .
Arranging for work hadnt taken nearly long enough , and it was the only reliable distraction I had .
Once it was done , I had nothing to think about except for Ella .
It was pointless to try to hide the fact that I was genuinely attracted to Ella .
There was nothing wrong with that ; she was a beautiful woman .
Considering the nature of our arrangement , it was better if my attraction for her was genuine .
It took some pressure off my acting and made our interactions feel more natural .
I had even entertained the idea of pursuing her genuinely , but I dismissed it .
Ella didnt seem ready for that , and I wasnt sure she would be anytime soon after what shed been through with David .
The bigger problem , though , was that I wasnt ready for a real relationship , and I knew it .
It was unfair of me to even consider it .
There was a reason so many women had come forward to warn Ella about me .
My reputation as a bastard to women was well earned ; I had made a lot of mistakes and treated many people poorly .
Much of that stemmed from the simple fact that when I had allowed myself to truly fall in love , I had ended up with a broken heart .
I wasnt in any rush to let someone get that close to me again it could only end badly .
I already knew exactly how bad things could get , and I wasnt going to subject myself or anyone else to that kind of misery .
So if things with Ella were going to be physical , that was fine , but that was all it could be .
I wouldnt take her heart , and I wouldnt give her mine .
Ella POV Alexander had woken me from a doze last night with a plate of food and a clean pair of pajamas .
Lhad eaten , showered in awkward silence , and eventually fallen asleep in his bed while he did something else in the living room .
I assumed he was working , but since he offered no explanation , I couldnt be sure .
He had been distracted and , if I was honest , he seemed upset .
I worried that he deeply regretted what had happened between us .
The thought made me feel awful .
Not only because I never intended to make Alexander feel bad , but because it made me feel self conscious .
If I had disappointed him in some way … but that didnt matter .
It was clear that it had been a mistake for us to sleep together .
I should have listened to myself and not given in to my desires so easily .
I would only get myself into more trouble if I became impulsive like that .
I couldnt let it happen again .
1/3 +25 BONUS Chapter 0119 When I woke up this morning , Alexander still wasnt in the room with me .
I could hear him pacing around the kitchen , and it took a few minutes for me to work up the nerve to go out and speak with him .
When I entered the kitchen , he glanced up at me , a tight smile forming on his face .
Good morning , he said .
Good morning , I repeated , awkwardly .
How did you sleep ? Alexander asked .
Fine , I answered softly , then added , I didnt mean to take your bed , There was a brief pause before he replied , You were recovering .
I thought you could use the space , and I didnt want to disturb you by tossing and turning .
I nodded , struggling to find any words .
The silence between us felt thick , almost suffocating .
Ill have breakfast brought up now that youre awake , he said , his tone lighter , as if trying to ease the awkwardness .
Are you feeling better ? Should I have a doctor come up to- Im fine , I cut him off quickly .
Theres no need for that .
Im glad to hear it , he said , but the tension in the room persisted .
I couldnt tell if I was projecting my own discomfort onto him or if he was feeling just as uneasy .
Either way , was hard to even look at him , feeling like such a fool for letting things go as far as they had .
it Listen … about last night , I started hesitantly , my voice barely above a whisper .
I think … we might have made a mistake .
I kept my eyes glued to the countertop , too afraid to meet his gaze , feeling the weight of my words hanging in the air .
Is that so ? Alexander asked , his voice calm but unreadable .
What makes you think that ? I just … I think it would be better for both of us if we stick to our contract , I said , my heart pounding as I spoke .
We shouldnt let ourselves get … emotionally involved .
He didnt respond right away , and the silence between us stretched out .
I forced myself to look up and meet Alexanders eyes .
There was a distant expression on his face , as if , for a moment , he was somewhere far away .
Then his gaze met mine , and he smiled that same tight , controlled smile .
I agree , he said in a detached , professional tone .
This is a business relationship , nothing more .
I apologize if its awkward for you .
No , I said softly , trying to steady my voice .
Im glad were in agreement .
Ill drive you home once youve eaten , he offered .
The thought of being alone in the car with Alexander for an hour made my heart twist painfully .
I had too many conflicting emotions swirling inside me , and I knew I couldnt handle the unbearable silence for that long .
Thats not necessary , I said quickly .
I can have someone pick me up .
My father will probably be coming by the capital to deal with the situation anyway .
Youre probably right , he replied , his voice cool and unaffected .
Ill make the arrangements for breakfast .
With that , Alexander turned and walked out of the kitchen , leaving me standing alone in my pajamas on the cold tile floor .
A chill crept over me , not just from the coolness of the room but from the emptiness that settled in my chest .
Chapter 0119 I felt ridiculous standing there , and a deep sense of regret washed over me .
Had I just made a terrible mistake ? But I couldnt let myself get caught up in those feelings .
It was too much of a risk to give in to whatever was building between Alexander and me .
It wouldnt be fair to him , either , How could I let him invest his feelings in me when I knew I could never be the woman he needed ?